4 Ways to Deal with Extreme Sadness

How to deal with sadness

Have you ever considered any possible way of dealing with sadness? No matter how enthusiastic and happy you are naturally, you will definitely experience some moments of sadness in your life, and for this reason, it is critical to learn how to deal with sadness.

Why do we feel sad? Sadness is a common emotion we all feel. It is caused by several factors. However, the factors responsible for sadness can be zeroed into one, “the inability to get what we want.” We experience sadness anytime we are not able to get the things we desire, or when things fail to play out the way we want them to play out. According to Macmillan dictionary, sadness is simply defined as:
 “A feeling of being unhappy, especially because something bad has happened.”
The main cause of sadness as indicated above reveals the fact that sadness is inevitable, because we are all full of desires, and whether we like it or not, it is not possible for all our desires to come true, or for things, situations and events to always be as we want them to be.

Generally most people feel sad when they are rejected by their loved ones, when they lose a loved one through death, when they lose their job, when they are not able to achieve their goals, when they are unable to solve their problems, when they experience adversity and so on.

The opinion suggested here are strictly my own ways of handling with sadness. I understand we all have one thing in common, and that which we have in common is humanity. I assume based on that fact, that if they work for me, they will likely or definitely work for you.

Here are the strategies:

1. Accept things as they are:

Just as a stated above, the main cause of sadness is dissatisfaction with reality. You must realize that life is not meant to consistently be rosy. Things are not meant to keep working in your favor. Just as we have day and night, light and darkness, male and female, you are designed to experience both happiness and sadness. None of the two experiences is better than the other. Though, one is pleasant, they both impart our lives in unique ways.

The first important step to take in dealing with sadness is to accept whatever is the source of the sadness as part of life. Never judge it as evil. Whatever happens to you in life is designed for your overall development. Let go of the “what ifs”, and regrets. Learn as much as you can from the event. If you felt you made a mistake, learn from your mistake and let the event be. It is a waste of time and mental energy to feel miserable about the unchangeable past. The right thing to do is to put it behind you. Rabbi Hyman S. said,
“Happiness is not having what you want (like). It is wanting (liking) what you have.”

2. Show gratitude:

One of the ways to deal with extreme sadness is to show gratitude. We feel sad when things fail to play out as we want or when we are unable to get that which we want. Whatever maybe the case for you, you should learn to be grateful for other good things in your life. Be grateful for the gift of life, for your health, for your family, for the loving relationships in your life and the hope for a future. No matter how bad things are for you, there must be certain things left in your life that are worth being grateful for. A popular adage says, “If you know how to think, you will know how to give thanks.” Anytime you feel sad and hopeless, consider the good things in your life.

 3. Focus on solution:

As humans, we are easily tempted to dwell in self-pity, depression and sadness when things fail to play out as we desire. It is good to grief and be sad over whatever loss or failure you have encountered, but it is not good to allow your grief and sadness to linger for too long. The energy you expend in sadness, anxiety, worry and self-pity can never create any positive result in your life. For this reason, after your grief, sorrow or sadness, you must learn to put the past behind you, and think of how to move forward. Consider your past mistakes, learn from them and resolve never to repeat them.

Spend a large portion of your time, thinking and working out solutions for your problem. That is how you can create a new and positive outcome in your life. When you get the kind of result you want, your mind will automatically shift from the feeling of sadness or sorrow to that of happiness. However, if your source of sadness is not result-based such as the death of a loved one, then you have to accept it in good faith as the inevitability of life, and move on

4. Talk to somebody:

One of the most effective ways of dealing with extreme sadness is talking to someone you trust or have confidence in. When you are in a sad mood, you are alone with your own thoughts, and your own perspective of the source of your sadness. The more you keep your thoughts to yourself, the more you ruminate over the incident that triggers your sadness, the heavier your heart will be. One way to offload such a burden from your heart is by discussing the event with someone you trust. By talking to a confidant, you give yourself the opportunity to have a different view of the situation. In most cases, the new perspective will help you to easily let go of whatever circumstances is responsible to your sadness. A good confident will encourage you to cheer up and help you see that what has happened is no big deal. A good session or chat with a trusted friend can get you off your sad mood. If you are sad as you read this, and having issue with getting over it, look for someone you trust in your circle of friends and discuss the trigger of your sadness with him or her. I am persuaded you will get better.

Over to you

I want to believe you have been blessed by this article. How do you deal with sadness? Please, kindly share your opinion in the comment section.

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  1. Hello Taiwo! I loved all 4 ways that you have shared with deal with sadness! I like to deal with the loss of my mother ( My Sadness) By remembering all the good times we shared..

    Awesome Post! Thank You! Chery :))

    1. Hi Chery,
      I am glad you love my four points. Your way of dealing with death of your mother is a powerful one. I know it is very painful to lose a loved one. The fact is that our loved one may die,but despite their physical death, they are never dead in our hearts. We can always replay the memory of the good times spent together.
      Thanks for your contribution.

  2. Hi Taiwo,

    Intense subject, as there are many shades of sadness.

    Loss of a loved family member, as Chery is doing, is the most trying one I've experienced. And, the hardest part is acceptance. Yet, without acceptance you can't move on to the other stages of grief.

    I truly believe you could die from a broken heart. Thanks,

    1. Hi Eward,
      Thank for your thoughtful contribution to this post.

  3. If one is feeling extreme sadness the first thing they must do is get help. It can be a dangerous situation.

    1. Hi Dr.Elise,
      Your assertion that extreme sadness can be a dangerous situation is very true, and seeking help is really important.
      Thanks for your contribution.

  4. Hi Taiwo,
    Wonderful post. There's a lot of sadness in the world these days. Some out of our control, some we can control. What we can control we can follow your suggestions. The one that is hardest is accepting things as they are - not easy to do. But if one learns how to use their thoughts and understands how the mind works it can break the spiral of sadness from going deeper. Insightful post ... thank you

    1. Hi Lesly,
      I am glad to see your contribution to this post.
      I can't agree less with this,"....But if one learns how to use their thoughts and understands how the mind works it can break the spiral of sadness from going deeper." The ability to control our thoughts is what we really need to overcome the power of negative thoughts and emotions.
      Thanks for your contribution.

  5. #4. Really interest me. sometimes when I have so much to think about, and i have ruminate on those thought for so long, it becomes so much for me to handle, leading to worry.

    When there is no one to share the burden with. it makes one heart heavy and unable to breathe properly. but finding someone (confidant) to share it with is like a burden lifted.

    I recommend this when we are going through difficult situations that are so much for us to handle.

    1. Hi Gbemileke,
      I am happy to see your comment on this post.
      It is amazing you found the 4th point interesting.
      The personal story you shared added more value to the 4th point. I appreciate your contribution. Thanks.

  6. Hi Taiwo,
    Nice post. No 3 always works for me. Thank you

    1. Hi Sokari,
      I am happy you found value in No 3.
      Thanks for commenting.

  7. Hi TAIWO,
    You've stated great pills to fight against sadness here. I must confess that your points are very valid and effective.