Top 13 Unbeatable Rules For Happiness

The secret of happiness

Among so many questions in the world today is how can one attain the state of happiness? Many in search for happiness have made effort to acquire wealth, fame and power, but the irony is that despite being in possession of these things they are still not happy. In this blog post I am going to expose you to the basic rules that govern true happiness. Now let’s go there.

Happiness is defined as an emotion experienced when in a state of well-being. It is a state that anyone can attain irrespective of one’s circumstances. However for one to attain or experience happiness one must understand the rules of happiness and how one can enjoy being happy spontaneously. The basic requirement is the ability to create conditions that will put you in a state of well-being which bring about happiness, and that is what the rules in this post are based on.

To attain the state of happiness, I am persuaded that the following rules will be of help.

1. Thou shall be contented with what you have: The number one rule of happiness is contentment. Having a great wealth does not guarantee happiness, what brings happiness is your contentment with the little or much that you have. No matter how wealthy you are, if you are not satisfied or contented with what you have, happiness will elude you. When it comes to prosperity, we have the natural inclination to keep seeking. An author rightly put it this way that “it is really exciting to get something new, but the excitement always wear off after a while..... the new desire is always more important than the stuff you already have.” Buddha understands this rule when he said; health is the greatest gift,
Contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. My blog post on why success does not guarantee a lasting happiness explains this better.

2. Thou shall practice win-win relationship. To truly be happy, you must inculcate win-win in all your deals with people. Win-win is a form of interaction or relationship where you benefit and the other person benefits too. Cutting corners, outsmarting and taking advantage of others is the common practice today. Trying to outsmart others may give you temporary pleasure in the now but it can bring you untold pain and hardship in the future. Such behavior can also lead to anxiety, guilt and restlessness of the mind. There is no way you can be happy with these negative emotions occupying your mind.

3. Thou shall be stable financially:  I have heard times without number that money cannot buy happiness. The truth is that, that statement is not completely true. You need financial stability to be happy. Most of the pains we go through in life are the result of lack of money to solve certain problem.
 We become happy when we achieve our goals and vice versa. The truth is that certain goals can never be achieved without money and for as long as the goal is unrealized we will remain unhappy. Muyiwa Afolabi, Nigerian career and business coach put it this way “money can’t buy happiness, but it can sponsor your dreams and finance your purpose which eventually will make you happy.” I am of the opinion that everyone who truly want to be happy should strive toward financial stability. Having money to live your dream will save you from so many ills that can create sorrow in your life.

4. Thou shall accept life as it is: Accepting life as it is, is one of the basic rules you need to be happy. We are all complete strangers in this world. Like the good singer composed, “the world is not my own, I am just passing through”. You were not here at a time and a time will come when you will be no more. If you must experience happiness in your short stay in this world, you need to accept life as it is. Most often, we are tempted to wish or desire that life operates in certain way, e.g. being in a Garden of Eden and having all your needs met without any struggle. The reality is that life does not work like that. The burden of trials, temptation and tribulation is one which is inescapable for any mortal soul. If you desire that life be rosy every time, you will live in perpetual sorrow all your life. Accepting life as it is will boost your inner power and enable you to take charge of your life. And being in charge of your life will definitely bring you happiness.

5. Thou shall share what you have with others: One of the greatest sources of happiness is sharing what we have whether little or much with those who are less privileged. There is a deep feeling of happiness and joy that comes from helping others.

6. Thou shall find your life purpose and live it: I believe that everybody is designed for a purpose. Your purpose is what you are put in this world to do. It is your responsibility to find it. Some are designed to sing, others to write, speak, draw, encourage others, fight for people’s right and so on. Research shows that people who discovered what they are put here to do, and do it experience the highest level of happiness.

7. Thou shall free yourself from all kinds of fear: There is no way you can attain the maximum level of happiness when your life is rule by fear. You must master every fear that is blocking you from experiencing real happiness. Some of the basic fears that are limiting people from experiencing real happiness include; the fear of death, the fear of public speaking, the fear of lost of love, the fear of old age, the fear of criticism etc Fear occur mostly as a result of ignorance, the antidote to fear is knowledge.
To kill your fear, all you need to do is to replace ignorance with knowledge.
 Happiness most often is a direct result of achieving one’s goal. When fear stops you from pursuing your dream, you will not have achievement. Lack of achievement brings the feeling of failure, which will naturally produce sadness, the opposite of happiness.
 To overcome fear read books about the things you fear. Understanding the true nature of the things you fear will help you to master them.

8. Thou shall practice the golden rule: you must have come across the term golden rule; the golden rule says “do unto others as you want them to do unto you.” How people treat you have a way of influencing your happiness. You will be happy when people treat you the way you expected, and vice versa. Life is all about sowing and reaping. To reap happiness, sow things that makes others happy and in the fullness of time, you will reap what you sow.

9.Thou shall practice the platinum rule: To be happy, it is not enough to obey the golden rule you must also obey the platinum rule. The platinum rule says “do unto others are they wanted to be done unto.” In other words, treat others as they expected to be treated. Some things that are normal to you may be a taboo to someone else. Remember the old saying; one man’s food is another man’s poison. Not treating people the way they want to be treated will make them react in a way that can negatively affect your mood which may later result in unhappiness.

10. Thou shall not look for free things: My headmaster in primary school was fond of this wise saying, “he who goes a borrowing, goes are sorrowing, he who likes borrowing, dislikes paying.” To be happy, stop looking for free things.  I have observed from experience that the price you pay for free things in the long run is greater than the relief such offer gives you in the now. Most often, in the course of looking for free things, you will be disappointed as a result of people’s behavior or gesture. There are only very few people out there who are willing to assist you for free. The more disappointment you get, the greater your frustration, and unhappiness. To be happy, stop looking up to people for your needs. Get a job, work, make money and solve your own problem. There is dignity in paying your bills yourself.

11. Thou shall accept total responsibility for your life: If you must experience true happiness, you must learn to accept total responsibility for your life. It is true that certain persons may have contributed to the ills and the misfortunes in our lives. Blaming others over our circumstances will not change them, instead it will create in us bitterness, anger and self-pity; negative emotions that are contrary to happiness. The antidote to this is to forgive everyone who has hurt you, put off blaming anyone, accept responsibility for all your results so far and keep moving. Doing this will make you to be at peace with yourself, boost your inner power and generate happiness within you.

12. Thou shall be an achiever: To attain happiness, you must strive to be a successful person. When you succeed continually, you become happy continually because happiness is a direct result of success.

13. Thou shall not compare yourself with others: To truly be happy, you must put off the habit of comparing yourself with others. One thing you must realize is that the race of life is unique for every individual, and we are not all going to remain at the same level forever even if we started at the same level.
Robert Elias Najemy, the author of universal philosophy gives a better perspective of this when said “as long as we measure our worth in terms of what we do, and even worse in terms of what we do in comparison with what others do, we will continuously oscillate between the feeling of pride that we are better or guilt that we are worse than others.” I know definitely that feeling guilty that we are worse will never produce happiness. Improve yourself and your performance as much as you can, but always learn to accept yourself for who you are, and love yourself unconditionally. That is one of the keys to happiness.

Final note
Following the above rules will certainly guarantee you happiness. However, you must have it in mind that everything has its opposite. There is no joy without its alloy of sorrow, after rain comes sunshine, after darkness comes the glorious dawn. Behind the terrible mask of misfortune lies the beautiful soothing countenance of prosperity. Such is life for I and you. Our ability to accept this hash reality and embrace it will help us to maintain a state of joy and inner peace when we have no practical reason to be happy.

Over to you

What is your take about these rules? Which other rules have you applied in the past to achieve happiness? Please share your thought with me and other readers via the comment section.


  1. One ruled I have applied and still applying is I put my best in anything i find myself doing! Leaving the rest in the hands of God! I worry less about the past and morrow. Mathew 6:33 and Phillip I and 4:6

    1. Yeah, living in the now is an unbeatable secret of happiness. thanks for your contribution