The Driver, the Vehicle and the Destination

Take charge of your life
“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”- Williams E. Henley
Few years back, I was thinking deeply about my life and where it was heading. In the course of my meditation I got a picture of the relationship between the driver, the vehicle and the destination. I was inspired from that moment to accept the fact that if anything is going to be, it is up to me.
The vehicle is a mechanical device, it does not think, neither does it has the ability to drive itself, it has no idea of its destination. If it breaks down, it cannot repair itself.  The destiny of the vehicle is absolutely in the hand of the driver. He determines
 its destination and functionality.

People often wondered why their life is static, and why they are not moving forward. They believe that external factors are responsible for their outcome in life. Some assume everything will just work out one day without any effort on their own part. The truth is that there is no such reality as that. Are you working at a job you don't like, earning salary far below your potential, staying in relationship you don’t enjoy and living a life that gives you no satisfaction? If you answered yes to any of these, I want you to know that the change you desire won’t take place on its own accord. You must make conscious effort to effect it.

Things when left to themselves tend to move from bad to worse. For example, let us assume you prepared a delicious soup and refuse to preserve it by warming it when you ought to, what do you think would happen to the soup? It is obvious that it would become sour and useless.In like manner, your dirty cloth will not wash itself, your broken window will not fix itself. Our lives just like the soup tend to get worse if will fail to take the right step that will make it to be a life we can be proud of.The disorder in your life will not put itself to order. It is your responsibility to put everything you don't like in your life into order. Nobody will do it for you.

Your life in general is the vehicle, and your “conscious self/the thinking you” is the driver, your destination is how you want your life to look like if you can overcome all the obstacles on your path. As the driver of your life, you are responsible for wherever you are today on your life journey, whether satisfactory or not. The earlier you accept this to be true the better because your disagreement with this simple fact cannot alter its reality.

Now that you have known that you are at the driver sit of your life, your question would likely be, how do I take charge of my life and move from where I am to where I want to be? OK, I am going to share with you some steps which I have personally applied in my life, and have been used by other successful people which I believe will help you  to take charge of your life and get yourself on the right track.

4 Steps to Taking Charge of Your Life

1.                Stop blaming external factors for your current life situation: the number one step you will need to take in order to take charge of your life is to stop blaming external factors for your results. It is true that we didn’t fall down from heaven. We have parents who gave birth to us and nurture us to become who we are today. The kind of family we came from and how we were raised contribute so much to who we have become. If you are not satisfied with what and who you have become today, it is an easy thing to just look around and look for somebody or something else to blame. Blaming external factors for our results is actually the default reaction, and that is what we do most of the times. Successful people realized very early in life that blaming others will not help them to move forward, as a result, they chose not to blame anybody , and instead, accept total responsibility for their life. Before I grew to my current level of consciousness, I often blame my parents, my background, my education, and the government anytime things didn’t work out as I wanted. But the more I blame the aforementioned factors, the more I feel hopeless and helpless. Along the line I began to read books that opened my eyes to true nature of reality. I eventually come to understand that none of the factors I was blaming were responsible. They might have contributed to who I am today, but they can never determine how my life will be in the future, the choice is up to me and that is also true for you.
For you to take charge of your life, you have to let go of blaming external factors. Stop blaming your parents, your education, your friends, your spouse and the government.  External factors can only drive your life when you give them the room to do so. It has been said times without number that “it is not what happens to you that determines how far you go in life, it is what you do with what happens to you.’’ The law of cause and effects states that for every action, there is a cause. What happened to you is an effect, or a result of certain action, and it has ended there. The action you take next is what will determine your next effect or result (future).

2.                Stop thinking of where you should have been: Most often we allowed ourselves to be held back from success my focusing too much on our past and our current result. When the result you get in the past and in the present are not pleasant and you put your focus on them, you tend to become sad, depressed and frustrated. These emotions give you very little chance to look forward to a better future outcome. They have the likelihood of putting your life at a standstill and make you feel worthless. John F. Kennedy put it better when he said "Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." The result has manifested, so whining over it is like crying when the head is cut off already. To take charge of your life, you have to let go of those unpleasant results. Instead of whining and feeling depressed, find out what you did wrong and learn from your mistakes.There is no failure, only outcome. Think and make plan on how you can get the kind of outcome you desire, and take corresponding action. Always have it in mind that when you keep thinking and doing things in a particular way, you will keep getting the same result, different result requires thinking differently and doing things differently. So it is your responsibility to find out where you are missing it, and apply the right action that will help you to get to where you want to be.

3.                Say no to excuse: Looking for excuses to explain why things are not the way they ought to be is not a difficult thing. In fact there are thousands of excuses if you are too weak to accept them. From my own personal experience, I have come to realize that giving excuses is a sign of irresponsibility. I have realized that I do anything I want to do if I badly desire that it should be done. However when the zeal is not there, I ended up giving excuse which is not a reason for my failure to perform my duty in the actual sense. Giving excuses and blaming external factors are interrelated and interwoven. Most often, the external factors we blame are often our excuses. If you must take charge of your life, you must stop deceiving and consoling yourself with those irrelevant excuses, if you do otherwise, then you are setting yourself up for failure.

4.                Accept total responsibility for your life: If you can successfully apply the first three steps, you will definitely come to that level where you can truly say like Williams Henley that “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.’’ When I meet a person and have a brief discussion with him/her. I can easily tell if he/she has learned to accept total responsibility for his/her life. When you get to that point in your personal development where you have the full awareness that you are responsible for whatever outcome you get in life, then are unstoppable. It is at this level you can make maximum use of your potential as a human being, and harness the greatest gift (ability to choose) which life has given you via which you can carve out your destiny. Show me a man who is making a difference in the world today, and a man who is in charge of his life, then I will show you somebody who has accepted total responsibility for his life. Before you get to this level, you tend to blame others for your outcome, give excuses for your failure and allow unpleasant outcomes to influence your mood negatively. These reactions put you in the position of frustration and helplessness. They make you less of a human being, but the moment you accept total responsibility for your life, these ways of reacting and their consequences will bow before you. It is at this level you can live as a normal human being and maximum your full potential.
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Decide to take charge of your life today. I hope to meet you at the top.


  1. Thanks for sharing this. You have just opened my eyes to see somethings I couldn't see before. I really need to take charge of my life.

  2. well said.
    Really learnt something!

  3. Nice write up. Thanks for this post.

  4. God bless you for this..