Why Your Life is Not the Way You Want It To Be

Why your life is not the way you want it to be.

If your life is to be perfect, how will your life look like? What would be your career, how will your financial life be, what religion would you adopt? These and many other questions I presented in the chapter one of my winning paradigm for tough times: a practical guide to overcoming the obstacle to success.

The Poverty of the Rich

The poverty of the rich

People who have great wealth are often perceived as omnipotent when it comes to what money can do. When a rich man complains of being broke, people hardly believe he’s truly broke. Our thought is, with all the fleets of cars and all the big houses how can he say he’s broke?

4 Steps to Writing an Epic Article

write like a pro.

Do you know that you write an epic article within a very short time? For about two years, I have been writing actively. I have written articles that have gone viral. I have written and self-published a book, and currently writing another book.

 From my experience, which I believe other writers can relate with, the steps to writing an epic article include the following.


The stage of thinking is the stage of conceptualization of the idea you want to write about.  Idea about your article topic can come from different sources. The more you become active in writing, the greater your tendency to stumble on ideas that will constitute your next post.

Most of the times, topic to write on comes to me while bathing. Sometimes while working along the road and sometimes while listening to other people’s teaching or reading a book. My sources for article topics are innumerable.

As soon as you come up with your topic, thinking involves your objective of the article, it means what you want your readers to learn or gain after reading your article. Thinking also involves the way you want to convey your message so that the goal of writing the article can be achieved.

During the thinking process, you will need to consider possible quotes, popular opinions, case studies, personal experiences, statistics, and facts that will add value to your article.

In summary, the thinking stage is the stage where you draft the blueprint of your article or topic.

Also Read: 6 Article Idea Sources for Personal Development Bloggers


After the thinking stage, the next is writing stage. When writing, you don’t need to seek for perfection. The best thing to do is to pore down the ideas on the blank page of the paper before you or the blank screen of your computer as they occur to you. You can always edit your write up later.

Express your message as simple as possible, and make sure that it contains your core message. Once you are done with writing, don’t edit it immediately, leave the article for some hours, go and do something else. During the period you take your focus off the article, your subconscious mind will be working on your behalf.  As you keep doing something else, occasionally ideas will begin to drop in your conscious mind about the article you wrote. It is possible that there are certain points you didn’t add while writing, to your surprise, more ideas and points to add to make the article epic will begin to come to your mind.
During this period, you will get a clear knowledge of how best to arrange your thoughts in a way that will make your article powerful. All those ideas will be supplied by your subconscious mind. It would be nice to always keep a jotter with you so that you can jot down the ideas as they occur to you.


The next stage is editing. Editing is one of the core aspects of writing.

When I started out as a newbie writer, I do make the mistake of writing and publishing post with obvious errors. Common errors or mistakes made by writers include: grammatical errors, contextual error, logical errors, spelling errors and fallacies. Editing is beyond mere correcting spellings and sentences, it goes beyond that.

In the editing stage, it is your duty to make sure that all your spellings are correct, all your sentences are well structured, and your punctuation marks are accurately used. You have the responsibility to ensure that your ideas are expressed as simple as possible in such a way that your readers can easily decode your message. There is no need using vocabularies that would confuse your readers.


Writing doesn’t end in editing, if you want your article to be epic, you must polish it. In my own experience polishing mean working on your article in such a way that readers can convincingly get your message. I do polish my articles by adding supporting quotes, case studies, statistics, facts and personal experiences as the case may be. When all these are done, then your article or book is ready for publishing

Live consciously. Take charge of your life.

Over to You

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7 Books You Should Read to Begin Your Financial Education

Top books on how to create wealth.

“If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.” – Benjamin franklin.

“Academic qualifications are important, and so is financial education. They are both important and schools are forgetting one.”- Robert Kiyosaki.

“The number one problem in today’s generation is the lack of financial literacy.”- Alan Greenspan.

4 Ways to Increase the Quality of Your Thoughts

4 ways to increase the quality of your thoughts

“The mind once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”-Ralph  Waldo Emerson

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”- Bible

Do you know that how you think play a major role in your life? If you don’t, then know that today, that your life will grow and improve in proportion to the quality of your thoughts. Your thought is the foundation of every action you have ever taken in life. And your destiny is created by your actions. If your thoughts are good, your actions will be good. Good and positive actions will create for you a pleasant destiny or outcome, and vice versa.  Tyron Edward did a thorough analysis of how our thoughts influence the quality of our lives in this quote, “Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; action form habits, habits decide character and character fixes our destiny.”

When your life is not the way it ought to be, most often the root cause lies in the way you think. And even if your thoughts are good, you can still expand the horizon of your thoughts. I have realized that by exposing your mind to certain things, your thinking will begin to change for good, and your life will start getting better.

The ways to increase the quality of your thought include the following:

1. Reading 

One of the powerful tools that can reprogram your mind and how you think is book. By reading here, I am not talking about reading for pleasure, but reading to expand your mind. If there is anything I discovered that has personally changed my thinking, it is book.

By reading, I gained freedom from the control of organized religion, childhood indoctrination, prejudices, biases, tribalism and fear of what is normal such as death.

Reading will open your eyes to see how the universe work, and how to get the things you want.

2. Travelling

There is proverb in my local dialect which says, “The person who has not been to another person’s father’s farm would think his father’s farm is the biggest.” Another popular adage says “one man’s food is another man’s poison.”  Life is full of variety. If all you know is the way of life of your cultural background and if all you think is possible is what you have done or what you see people do in your local environment, and then you haven’t seen anything yet. Thinking that life is only about what is obtainable in your locality is self-limiting.

During a Christmas holiday, I embarked on trip to a new environment. I saw so many things that really challenged my thinking. I discovered young people making great strides, and people living differently from what is the norm in my own city. So what am I trying to say? By travelling, your mind will be exposed to new culture, new people, new challenges, and new ways of doing things that you have never thought was possible. You will find out on your own that there is more to life than what is obtainable in your locality, and the quality of your thought will ultimately be boosted.

3. Making Friends with People Who are More Successful Than You

Now, success here is relative. It depends on the area you want to be successful. People who are more successful than you probably have certain ways of doing things that gives them their enviable success. By relating with them, your mediocre perspectives, and ways of doing things will be challenged. They will influence you for better and for good, and consequently increase the quality of your thoughts.

4. Daring to Do What You Have Never Done Before

We are often used to remaining in our comfort zone. We always like to do things the way we have always been doing them simply because doing that is safe. Only very few people are willing to risk doing new things.
By daring to do something you have never done before, you will learn new things.  It doesn’t matter whether your effort gives gives you success or failure, one things that matters is that by trying something new, you will gain new experience. You will discover new things about you that you never knew before.

When you achieve an unbelievable success by doing the things you thought were impossible, will experience a paradigm shift in the way you see yourself, and the unlimited potential you have to do the impossible. Ultimately, the quality of your thoughts will increase.

Over to you

Which other ways do you think we can increase the quality of our thoughts?  Please feel free to share using the comment box below.

There is Greatness in You

There is greatness in you.

“Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seed of greatness.”—Zig Ziglar

Philip while still in the euphoria of his encounter with the expected messiah, ran to meet Nathaniel and told him he has seen the messiah, he went ahead to name where the messiah came from. To his surprise he got an unexpected response from Nathaniel, “can anything good come out Nazareth?”

Nathaniel, based on his previous orientation about the city of Nazareth, assumes that nothing good could come out it. But when he saw Jesus, Jesus projected himself as the messiah he truly is. He proved the opinion of Nathaniel wrong. He made Nathaniel realize by what he did that what makes a man is not where he comes from, it is in what the man can make of himself.

One important thing I want you to know is that there is greatness in you. Most often we do imagine great people to be some special individuals from a distant land, or people who had great opportunities.  This kind of mindset is a wrong one. Greatness is what is in every man. A man becomes great when he makes conscious effort to harness his potentials, and when he chooses to take advantage of all the opportunities he has.

To the neighbours of a great man, he’s not seen as a great man, but just the ordinary person they have always known him to be. Jesus realize this when he said “a prophet does not have honour in his own town.”

An author wrote, “Your background is not the reason why your back must be on the ground.”  You are what you make of yourself. You will become great not because you were raised in a city; there are so many people who grew up in the city who end up mediocre people and people who rose from villages to become great leaders in life.

You will become great not because your parents are rich, there are a lot of poor men’s children who grew up to become great and extremely rich.
In the end, it is not so much of where you come from or your family background that determines what become of you in life, it is your dreams, your will and determination to develop yourself, harness your potential, and become a useful person to the society.

Consider the following great people: Abraham Lincoln, Socrates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, T.D Jakes, Mahatma Ghandi, Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Alexander the great, Napoleon Hill, David Oyedepo and so many others.

What do you think is special about these people? Their biographies reveal that they don’t have better talents, gifts and opportunity than the average person. They experience the same challenges and obstacles the average person face every day.

One common thing about them is that they all realize that there is greatness in them, they hone their skills, developed themselves; apply the power of their will and determination to become great. Greatness is in the average man, he fails to manifest it because he looks down on himself, and feel he doesn’t have all it takes.

I challenge you today to discover your uniqueness, develop your gifts, work hard and be determined to become the kind of person with your kind of brain can be.

 You are more powerful than you think.

Feel free to drop your comments below. Thanks for visiting my blog.

11 Ways to Make Your Partner to Trust You in a Long Distance Relationship

11 ways to make your partner to trust you in a long distance relationship.

“Love is a gift of nature, but trust must be earned”--- The law of trust

Onome (not her real name) was wooed by a handsome young man. She told him she already had someone she was dating. The young handsome man asked if the person she was dating resides in the same city. She answered no. The handsome young man in an attempt to persuade and convince her asked how sure is she that the so called guy is not dating another lady where he resides, a statement made to burst Onome’s confidence in his boyfriend. To the surprise of the young handsome man, Onome said, though he’s not with me, but I know what he can do.

So many people have failed in long distance relationship because they are not able to play by the rules that are critical to the success of a long distance relationship. In this post, I am going to show you eleven basic things you should start doing that will make whosoever you are dating now have total trust and confidence in you, even when you people don’t reside in the same city.

1. Be Transparent

The word transparent means easily understood, or see true. It also means free of deceit.  You are transparent to your partner when you show to him that you have nothing to hide. We generally believe that when a person is trying to hide something, then there is something he or she is doing that he doesn’t want other people to know.  You are not transparent when you don’t allow your partner to have access to your mobile phone, you are not transparent when you have to move to a corner to receive phone call, so as not to allow him or her to hear your conversation.

When you do any of the above, you have started planting the seed of doubt in your partner. He or she will start wondering about what you are trying to hide. That will consequently lead to mistrust.

2. Don’t Tell Lie

One of the ways people destroy their partner’s trust is by lying. You might have been telling the truth all your life, it takes only a second of a bursted lie to ruin the trust and reputation your honesty has earned you over the years. Some of the possible lies that can destroy your relationship include the following: lying about where you are at a particular time, being on a date with another guy, and telling your partner on phone that you are in your bedroom, telling your partner you have stopped calling your Ex, only to still be getting in touch with him in reality.

One thing you should know is that some persons are very inquisitive, even when they have no reason to doubt you, they still want to find out if what you said is the truth or not. It may take them a very long time to unravel the credibility of your claims, but they won’t give up. They will test the consistency of your claims, they will make enquiry about your claims. If you are a fake person, no matter how smart you are, you will be caught.

If you are not ready to be truthful to your spouse, then you are building your relationship on a faulty foundation. Lies destroy trust and lack of trust can lead to a break up with your partner.

3. Don’t Double Date

Jealousy is part of the human nature, and it is more intense when it comes to the game of relationship. Most people don’t subscribe to sharing who they really love with someone else. When you are dating a person, and give him the impression that he or she is your “one and only,” but because you don’t live together, you started dating someone else just to catch fun. When you do so, you are actually playing with fire as far as your relationship is concerned. You want to it your cake and have it. The problem with such game lies in the possibility of getting caught by your partner. If you are caught by your partner, that may be the end of “Solomon Grandy” for your relationship, ‘cause he or she may find it difficult to trust you and consequently call it quit. He or she may end up forgiving you, but his or her trust for you when both of you are not together would definitely be eroded.

4. Be careful How You Relate with the Members of the Opposite Sex

How you relate with members of the opposite sex has a way of influencing your partner’s trust in you. If you are the type of person that always goes about in the company of the opposite sex, your partner may start getting worried if you are really faithful to him or her. There are chances that he or she will start suspecting that you are having affair with any of the people you are moving with.

It gets worse when many of your opposite sex friends have your phone number and keep calling you regularly, no guy will feel comfortable seeing his or her partner receiving consistent calls from the member of the opposite sex. When you do that often, mistrust will start setting in.

5. Let Him Have Access to Your Phone and Social Media Accounts

This is not really compulsory but it is the easiest way to earn unshakable to trust from your partner. By allowing him or her to have access to your phone and your social media account, you are giving him the impression that you have nothing to hide from him or her. Transparency displayed in this manner breeds trust.

Also Read: 9 Factors that Help Long-Term Relationship to Survive

6. Call Him Regularly

One of the powerful pillars of relationship is communication .In a long distance relationship, when you call your partner regularly; you give him or her the impression that you are always thinking of him, a feeling that makes him see himself as important to you.  He would believe you have his interest at heart and that you care so much about him or her. This little gesture of regular calling breeds trust. When you fail to communicate with your partner regularly, he or she will start wondering if you have started seeing someone else. He would want to know what is taking your attention away from him or her.

7. Make Effort to Resolving Conflict When There is Any Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding is part of every relationship. The problem and challenge is not that you and your partner have issues, what matters is the ability of the two of you to come together and settle your dispute.

You will earn the trust of your partner if you always make effort to ensure that the conflict between you and your partner is resolved, but if you are the type with "I don’t care attitude," even when it is obvious that you are the one at fault but always unwilling to say sorry or make effort to resolve conflict between you and your partner, you are giving your partner the impression that you can do without him or her, that she’s not important to you. When you keep doing this in a long distance relationship, your partner will start suspecting there is someone else you are seeing that is giving you the guts to be acting the way you do.  This may eventually destroy his or her trust in you.

8. Let your friend or family member call him or her once in a while

You have to be careful about applying this rule. When you ask your friend or family member to call or speak with your partner in a long distance relationship, you make him or her feel important. You give him or her impression that even though he or she is not around, you are crazy about him or her. You gave him or her impression that he or she is all you have even though he’s not around.  Doing that has a way of boosting your partner’s trust in you.

9. When He’s in Doubt Prove That You are Saying the Truth

There will be times when your partner will doubt your words or claims for reasons best known to him or her never make the mistake of telling him that  “if he doesn’t believe you, he can go to hell.” When you do such, you will heighten his doubt. Instead of acting that way, prove to him that what you are saying is the truth, except you actually lied or deceived him or her. Making effort to clear his doubts is a way to earn his trust.

10. Don’t Take Major Decision Without Informing Him or Her

One of the ways you can destroy trust is to make major decisions in your life without telling your partner. There are tales of couples doing things such a building a house, buying a land, taking loans without the knowledge of their partners. It is better to let him know ‘cause when he or she finds out, he may find it difficult to trust you. For example, he or she might just assume that if you could do those things behind him or her, how sure is he or she that you are not cheating on him. The end result will be nothing but mistrust.

11. Be Predictable

On a general note, if you want people to trust and believe in you, you must be predictable. Let your way of life be so clear that people can say what you can do and what you can’t do. You must have a clear personal philosophy that governs your life.
In a long distance relationship, the more your lifestyle is predictable, the more your chances of earning your partner’s trust and vice versa.

Over to You
What is your opinion about this list, and which other ways can one earn trust in a long distance relationship? Feel free to share your thought below.